Defining vulnerability
I was recently asked to write an article in a magazine on the subject of ‘how do we start planning for the future?’ I was told that the readership of the magazine would be made up of parents and carers of children with additional needs and disabilities throughout the UK. All ages and all types of disabilities or needs, it was that broad. Finding something specific that would interest everyone would be hard, so it felt better to explain and address some of the general concerns that parents tend to approach me with instead. This could be how to protect means-tested benefits and support or decision-making post 18 for example.
Writing the article made me reflect on the first steps of planning for a child with special needs. It will very much depend on the family involved and their concerns, so summing it up in one page is a challenge, but ultimately it comes down to the shape of the vulnerabilities of those involved.
Asking the right questions
It is important to start with a very clear picture of the child (or adult) we are planning for. Parents could start with thinking about how they feel their child might be vulnerable in the future and how that might present now. With our son for example, we are trying to help him understand appropriate greetings, i.e., not blowing a kiss to a stranger to say hello or goodbye. I would imagine in the future he could find it very confusing to know who he can and cannot trust. Some children we plan for might struggle to judge how much items reasonably cost and would therefore be susceptible to scams. Others may find it very hard to read body language or understand that when someone says one thing, it can mean something very different.
We can also start looking ahead to the future – for example with regard to work. Parents might have an idea as to whether they see their child working in the future or not. Depending on the age of the child that’s not always easy to judge, but when I’ve brought this up in the past, the conversation has been very insightful. Asking questions like this is a good place to start when planning for the future, because it informs us as to what kind of situations we need to plan for. At the most basic of levels, we will plan differently for a vulnerable adult who may be working in the future and living in their own home, compared to a vulnerable adult who may be in residential care.
Parents and carers knows best
It is impossible to know what the future holds, but I believe that it is the parent themselves who knows their child best and is best positioned to foresee future vulnerability. Parents often ask me where to start or how to prepare in their planning. I think it is worth spending time trying to define how your child might be vulnerable so that we can tailor our protection around that.
Thinking this through in advance, makes the plans we put in place more personal, effective and meaningful. In my experience undertaking this type of thoughtful planning also leads to greater peace of mind for the parents and carers themselves. Once we have honed in on the vulnerability, we can look at our vision, hopes and dreams for that person, but really understanding how their vulnerability presents is such a great place to start. After all, it will be different for every family.
